


passing through meridians of greater times

by arachnistar



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: And all that entails, Angst, Canon Divergence, F/M, Family, Getting Together, Pre-Relationship, but not dramatic angst, it's more the slow weighted feeling of change, the rest of the squad is there too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-29
Updated: 2018-07-29
Packaged: 2019-06-18 07:55:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15481176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arachnistar/pseuds/arachnistar
Summary: Amy Santiago always knew she would leave the Nine-Nine one day. She just never imagined it would feel so bittersweet.





	passing through meridians of greater times

**Author's Note:**

> I left my job of 5 years on Friday and I’m going to leave my family, friends, and home state soon to move to Pennsylvania and start graduate school which has left me with a lot of emotions. So, I wrote this. Takes place in the latter part of season 2 and diverges wildly. 
> 
> Title is from Meridians by Greyson Chance.

 

Amy Santiago always knew she would leave the Nine-Nine one day. 

It isn’t personal. In fact, it’s the very opposite of personal. The thought of leaving them echoes through her heart, a mournful bell that calls her to turn down the job no matter how attractive the opportunity.

It’s just the nature of her ambition and the structure of their profession. If she wants to progress through the ranks and make captain, she has to keep going. She’s always known her position at the Nine-Nine would be impermanent, that she wouldn’t be like Hitchcock and Scully who have had the same chairs since the 1980s, that one day she would get a promotion and leave.

She just never imagined it would feel so bittersweet.

It’s not like this is the first time she’s left one place for another, she’s used to accepting the congratulations for a job well done at one place while actively looking ahead to her future, but this transition feels different from the others. 

Less like walking out of her previous police precinct, a newly minted detective, and a little more like leaving her family for college.

Outside of Shaw’s, leaning against the wall, she breathes in the night air, laden with cigarette smoke and the aroma of meat cooking in the Salvadoran restaurant down the street, and listens to the traffic passing by. A group of people in their 20s strolls by, laughing, exuberant in the freedom of Friday night. She feels detached from all of it.   

“Ditching your going-away party, Santiago?” 

Amy jerks at the intrusion, turns her head to see Jake letting the side door to Shaw’s fall shut behind him. “I - I was just getting some fresh air.” 

“It’s fine. I won’t tell Holt.” 

She gives him a small smile and returns her gaze to the street. Jake leans against the wall next to her, near enough that she can feel the heat of his body. They’re quiet for a while, a comfortable sort of silence, the sounds of city traffic and music from the bar cocooning them.

“So, you’re really leaving?” 

Amy bites her lip. Jake’s been mostly supportive thus far; only his initial reaction was negative, an outburst of denial, and even that had been tightly reined in when he realized what he was doing. She knows he hates change, has been a little nervous that he would reverse course now that it’s become abundantly clear that she’s taking the promotion and leaving, but he hasn’t. He’d handed her a binder of her most impressive solves with photos of the two of them mixed in back at their desks and then bought her a congratulatory drink at the party. The perfect supportive friend.

Still, the air feels different between them right now. Maybe it’s the crisp spring air or maybe it’s their proximity or maybe it’s just change, the knowledge that they won’t be partners soon tangible in the atmosphere. It mixes with her excitement over the promotion, scoops out a hollow aching sadness inside her that she would never have expected to feel taking a step closer to her dreams. 

But then she had never expected her workplace to become a second family or for Jake Peralta to become her best friend.

“I am.” She pauses. “It’ll be good. I’ll get more responsibility, get closer to becoming a captain.”

“More paperwork. Your favorite.”

Even though he’s teasing, she brightens, grin breaking out on her face. “I already got some new pens for the occasion. My writing is going to be _so_ smooth!”

“Nerd.” He snorts, fond in a way that sends warmth through her cheeks, and then, quieter, she may have even imagined it, “Never change, Santiago.”

She nudges him with her shoulder, clambers back from the chasm they’re always dancing around. “What about you?”

“Me? I’m not leaving the Nine-Nine anytime soon.”

“No.” A roll of her eyes. “I mean, are you ready for a new partner?”

“Hmm,” he cocks his head and she almost expects him to give a serious answer with that expression on his face, “I’m hoping for a badass who always carries snacks in their pockets and agrees that Die Hard is the best movie ever made. We’ll set up a volleyball net between our desks and they’ll let me drive their sportscar. It’ll be awesome.”

Amy shakes her head. “I can tell you’re going to get a lot of work done.”

“Oh, we’ve already solved ten cases by the time we settle down for some mini-volleyball. Even the best detectives deserve some R&R.”

“What do mediocre detectives deserve?”

“Santiago!” She laughs at the mock-outrage in his voice, at the way his lips curl and his arms cross. “I have never been more offended in my life.”

Her laughter continues, it feels good, liberating, and for a moment, she’s able to forget that they won’t be partners anymore.

When it ends, he’s watching her with rapt eyes. She shifts on her feet and he seems to realize that he’s been staring because he shakes his head and mutters, “I can’t believe you.”

She looks away, smile still on her face. “Sounds like you and your new partner are going be perfect for each other.”

“We’ll be the dream team.”

It’s irrational and selfish but she still feels the slightest edge of jealousy stir inside her at those words. Her eyes close and she clamps down on the feeling. This hypothetical partner isn’t even _real_ , she doesn’t need to feel this way, nothing will ever invalidate the work they did together. And, anyway, she _wants_ Jake to get a good partner, someone he can work with as well as he worked with her, to solve the maximum number of cases.     

“Amy?” His voice is different, gone the light humor that they’ve maintained for the last several minutes, something more sincere and hesitant in its place, reminiscent of the night he told her he wanted something romantic between the two of them. It has her heart speeding up in anticipation even as she reminds herself that he’s long since moved on, that this will be an emotional farewell between friends.  

She glances at him, tilts her head slightly. “What is it?”

“No one’s going to come along and replace you. I hope you know that. The Nine-Nine’s not going to be the same without you.” Jake bites his lip, eyes flicking away from her face and then back, and the air has stopped in her lungs. “I won’t be the same without you.”

She swallows, stares ahead at the brick wall instead of at him. Her eyes sting and she blinks rapidly. After a moment, when she trusts herself to speak, she says, “It’s not like we’ll never talk again.”

“I know. The Nine-Nine will come kick your ass at Tactical Village Day.”

“Doubt it, Mr. Upsy-Downsies.”

Jake gasps, places a hand over his heart, mutters, “Betrayal,” and then it’s subsumed into a more serious expression. “I know we’ll see each other again. But it’ll be different.”

She nods. “It’ll be different.” 

Amy turns to him and he’s watching her closely with intense brown eyes. Her breath catches in her throat. She’s not going to see him every day anymore. He won’t be there flipping paperclips at her across their desks and he won’t be in the briefing room with her cracking jokes and she’ll never spend hours in his smelly car on a stakeout with a bag of nuts between them again. And that thought rests heavy on her bones, presses against her insides, begging for some kind of release. 

Her gaze flickers down to his lips. There’s just the slightest downturn to them, his lower lip puckered out into a small pout. 

There’s already so much change coming her way, what’s one more? 

Without another thought (and Amy Santiago usually has so many of those, running through her head at all times, second and third and fourth thoughts directing her to take the smartest option after weighing all the risks and rewards), she surges forward.

Their lips meet somewhere in the middle, distantly she’s aware that means he’d moved forward too, his arms wrap around her, hands pressing her closer, and then she pushes him back against the wall, all hungry and desperate and aching from the coming change. She kisses him with everything she has, taking in the taste of his mouth and the feel of his hot skin, fingers curling into his soft hair. He matches her ferocity and then shifts the kiss into something gentler, something slower, their lips languid against one another until they’ve pulled away.    

Amy shifts back to peer at his face. Her hands have trailed down to grip his jacket, knuckles pressing into his warm chest, and she’s close enough that she can still feel his breath puffing out of his mouth. She loosens her hold on him, those secondary thoughts filtering back in now that it’s done, nipping at her heels with uncertainty. He’s staring at her with eyes blown wide, lips slightly parted, and she thinks he doesn’t look uncertain. Still.  

“Was that an okay change?” 

He leans forward and then his lips are back on hers. It’s a shorter kiss this time, sweet, a lingering press, and then gone.

“Does this mean – “ His words trail off. His eyes dart across her face, searching for some answer. “That wasn’t just a good-bye kiss, right?”

“No. I’ve wanted to do that for a while.” She can see the beginnings of a smug smirk forming on his face and she rolls her eyes. “Oh, shut up.”

The smirk widens. “I wasn’t saying anything.”

Another eye roll from her because she knows him well enough to expect his reactions by now. But then she supposes she never would have expected her going-away party to feature a kiss so maybe she can’t predict everything.

“If it makes you feel better, I’ve wanted to do that for a while too.”

She smiles, both at his words and the sincerity on his face. “What now?”

“We could get out of here.” Jake suggests, tone almost casual enough to fool her into thinking he’s less nervous than she is; maybe it would even work, if she couldn’t feel his heart hammering in his chest. “Grab some food, kiss some more, see where things go.”

She licks her lips and he mirrors the movement and she wants nothing more than to keep kissing him against the dirty wall of an alley outside Shaw’s until every other thought is quieted. But –

“I can’t ditch my own going-away party.”

“Why not? Holt isn’t your boss anymore. He can’t punish you.”

Her eyes go wide, even just the slightest implication that Holt would need to reprimand her for bad behavior is appalling, and he laughs. She scowls. “Not funny.”

“I thought it was hilarious.”

Amy pushes him slightly, leaning her weight into him so he rocks back into the wall. His hands slide down to her hips, hold her steady against him. And now she _really_ wants to stay out here.

“We can go somewhere after.” She suggests. “Or maybe get dinner tomorrow?”

He grins, beautiful and dazzling as if he’s never heard a better idea, eyes crinkling at the corners. “Sounds great.”

“Great.” She repeats after him, copying his grin, because it really is the best idea. They stare at each other a while longer and then she says, “We should get back to the party.”

They step away from each other, her body lodges a complaint at the loss of warm Jake Peralta against her, she firmly reminds herself that there will be time for that later, and then they walk back into the bar. Their friends are where they left them, though when he spots them, Charles bounces, there’s no other word for his kind of enthusiasm, over to them.

“Where’d you two lovebirds go?”

“Nowhere,” Amy snaps out, too fast, because it’s still too new to define, let alone explain to their friends. But it’s the exact wrong thing to say because then all eyes are on them and Gina has sauntered over from where she was chatting someone up and Amy has never been good at lying. She looks to Jake.

“Amy was trying to escape us early and I heroically brought her back.”

“I was not escaping.”

Jake opens his mouth but Gina intercedes, “Then why is there lipstick on your face, kiddo?” 

It’s Jake’s turn to go red and stutter out, “What? I don’t know what you’re – Amy’s not wearing lipstick.” His hand drifts across his face to check and she wants to grab it, stop him, because it’s true, she isn’t wearing lipstick and they’re just messing with him.

“And how would you know that?” Rosa pipes in.

Jake’s mouth moves soundlessly. The others laugh, except Charles who whoops in joy and Holt who remains inscrutable and Terry who mutters something about not harassing co-workers at work events about their possible love lives, although he’s smiling at the two of them. Amy’s cheeks burn but there’s a tendril of delight in her chest, that strange sensation of nostalgia and affection for the people gathered around her that comes of knowing things are about to change.   

“Now that we have established Santiago and Peralta may have been kissing, I would like to say something.” The squad quiets down and Amy shoots a grateful smile to Captain Holt. He’s distinguished as always, standing with a glass of champagne and a stern expression. It turns warmer when he looks at her, she can tell because of the lines around his eyes, she thinks, and her heart leaps into her throat.

“Detective Santiago, it has been a pleasure being your captain. You have done a remarkable job at the Nine-Nine and you will be missed as you continue to do remarkable things in your new position. I am proud of you.” Holt raises his glass, her image of him blurs from tears, and the others follow suit. “To Amy.”

“To Amy.”

Her heart pangs in her chest, the ache of leaving her family sweeping over the excitement of her new position and even Captain Holt’s praise. But looking at them all as their glasses clink, at Rosa giving her this small secretive smile and at Terry openly weeping with pride and at Jake beaming at her, she knows she’s not really leaving them.

They’ll be in her heart, they’re seared into her as surely as she is in them. They’ll always be a part of her life. Holt will always be a phone call away for advice, and Rosa will always be down to hit the shooting range, and Charles will continue to goad her into trying his latest creations, and Terry will check in on her from time to time, and Gina will likely show up out of the blue to say something biting and then something sweet, and Jake, Jake, well she doesn’t know what they’ll be yet but looking at him, she knows it’ll be something special.

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to chat with me about peraltiago/b99/anything else, you can find me on [Tumblr](http://proofthatihaveaheart.tumblr.com/).


End file.
